


come home to my heart

by peonyseas



Category: Lady Bird (2017)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Prom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27284248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peonyseas/pseuds/peonyseas
Summary: Everything was wrong.Lady Bird finally had all the things she’d always wanted, the things she had watched all the other people her age have, effortlessly, like a life made for tv, living the life that she’d been dreaming of, but it felt like everything had been moved just a little too far to the left.
Relationships: Christine "Lady Bird" McPherson/Julianne "Julie" Steffans
Kudos: 5





	come home to my heart

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first thing I've ever written and also finished, so it's completely self-indulgent. I just wanted to see if I could.  
> title from lorde's "supercut"

Everything was wrong. 

Lady Bird finally had all the things she’d always wanted, the things she had watched all the other people her age have, effortlessly, like a life made for tv, living the life that she’d been dreaming of, but it felt like everything had been moved just a little too far to the left.

She was going to prom, but it was with a couple of people she didn’t know the first thing about; she was riding in the front seat of a boy’s car, but she didn’t feel a single thing about him; she was finally seen as cool, but it wasn’t by the people that really mattered. She had never felt more alone than in this car, surrounded by people that she didn’t actually know, and more importantly, didn’t know her at all. It was as if she’d woken up this morning, pulled on her skin, and realized it wasn’t quite hers, a little too tight; a lot too uncomfortable. 

The others were talking about ditching prom, and the wrongness just kept intensifying. 

A new song came on the radio and Lady Bird’s thoughts shifted. 

She missed Julie. 

This was supposed to be their night, but she’d been selfish. She had been so obsessed with being from the “right side of the tracks” that it had blinded her enough that Lady Bird couldn’t see that she’d always had everything she wanted, everything she needed, right in front of her. 

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Kyle’s sharp voice. 

“I fucking hate this song.” 

His words annoyed Lady Bird. Something came over her in that moment.

“I love it.” Lady Bird said. She kept going. “I actually want to go to prom.”

She was met with silence. 

Saying something like that a week ago, even yesterday, would’ve been impossible for her. She would’ve been too embarrassed, too aware of how truly uncool she was. But she realized it didn’t really matter what these people thought of her. They weren’t her friends. Julie was. 

“Can you take me to my friend Julie’s house, please?”

Kyle hesitated for a second, before answering with a confused “sure.”

Jenna scoffed in the back. “Who’s Julie?” 

Julie. Amazing Julie. Who had always been there for her. Who she shared some of her favorite memories with. Who would’ve never ditched her if Lady Bird hadn’t done it first. These people could never mean even half of what Julie did to her. 

The answer was so obvious. 

“She’s my best friend.”

\---

Lady Bird stood outside of Julie’s apartment door. She was nervous. It was a weird feeling to have and she couldn’t really locate where it was coming from. She’d been here a million times before, why was this different? 

Ms. Pickett took that moment to open the door and let her in with a big smile. She probably didn’t know that Lady Bird and Julie hadn’t really been talking for the past month or so, otherwise she most definitely wouldn’t have been so friendly just then. 

Julie was in the dark living room, sitting on the couch in the yellow t-shirt she wore to sleep that had been washed so many times that the fabric had gotten impossibly soft and the print had faded so much that it was unclear what it was supposed to depict. She looked up when Lady Bird got close enough to take her in. It looked like she’d been crying. Something clenched in Lady Bird’s stomach. 

“Hey. Are you okay?”

She joined Julie on the couch, sitting down right next to her, their thighs touching, as if nothing had happened between them, and for a second forgetting that it had. The warmth from Julie’s body released some of the weirdness that had been taking root inside of her.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine,” Julie answered.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.” Lady Bird gave her a disbelieving look. “No really, nothing,” Julie tried to reassure her.

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m just crying - some people aren’t built happy you know?” Her words made the uncomfortable feeling rush back so quickly she was almost sick with it. The fact that Julie, the person that has brought her the most joy, felt this way wasn’t right. Even more awful, the fact that Lady Bird had probably been making it worse, and for what? To be considered cool? By people who couldn’t care less about her and her wants? 

Lady Bird couldn’t help herself, she leaned in to hug Julie, squeezing her hard, trying to convey with all of her being how sorry she was for everything, how much she wished she could put all the pieces that made up the two of them back together again. 

Julie snivelled and she let go. They looked at each other and both of them started to smile, their grins turning wider and wider until there was nothing else left to do but laugh. The laughter was the final piece needed to melt away the strangeness that had surrounded them for so long and they picked up right where they left off. 

They ended up in the kitchen, raiding Julie’s fridge and eating cheese, just laughing and being silly with each other again. 

“Fuck it, let’s go to prom. Doesn’t your mom have a dress?”

Julie looked down shyly and one corner of her mouth went up slowly. 

“Let’s be honest, I’ve had a dress for months. It’s purple and you’re really gonna like it.”

\---

Prom was… prom. 

Cheap decorations hanging from the ceiling, teacher chaperones lining the walls, disgusting punch just waiting to be spiked, too loud music that you could feel all the way through your bones, and people, so many people, dancing, laughing, crying, having the best night of their whole high school career because they knew that after tonight there wouldn’t be that much left of it. 

Lady Bird and Julie were dancing, pressed close together, and Lady Bird never wanted the night to end. 

Julie had been right, she did love the purple dress. When she came out of her bedroom wearing it, with soft curls surrounding her freshly made up face, there had once again been an inexplicable feeling inside of her, a sudden swoop, though this time it hadn’t felt so bad. 

And now, the feeling flickered back every time she got a waft of Julie’s strawberry scented shampoo, which turned out to be all the time, since the way they fitted together in this close embrace pressed her nose to the crown of Julie’s head. She closed her eyes and just breathed in the familiar scent for a couple of moments, wishing she could stay in the safety of their bubble for the rest of the night, or better yet, for the rest of the summer. 

After a while Julie pulled away and looked up at her, her eyes sparkling in the artificial neon lights.

“Do you wanna get out of here?”

Lady Bird’s mind was torn between _no, never_ , and _yes, anywhere with you_. 

\---

There was something almost holy about the night. Something that felt like it could be shattered if it wasn’t handled right. So, as they walked along the Sacramento River, they kept their steps light and their voices low, as not to disturb the calm of the air around them. 

They somehow got into the topic of Kyle, and Lady Bird couldn’t help but blurt out the story of the disaster that had been her first time. 

“What did it feel like?”

“I wanted it so badly but then I found that when it happened, it didn’t feel that great at all.” Lady Bird thought about it for a moment. “I think, when it comes down to it, I wanted it because it’s what I was expected to want. You know, the popular boyfriend, and all of that. But now, I think it should be with someone I really really like, and you know, trust, not just someone I wished that I liked.” She felt nervous saying these things out loud, like Julie might judge her for feeling these things, even though Lady Bird herself hadn’t quite known the truth of her words until they were out of her mouth, in the air, for Julie to do whatever she wanted with.

Julie was looking at her intensely. Something shifted inside Lady Bird, settling finally in the right place, and she swallowed.

“You know, someone like you.”

Julie’s eyes widened, and without really realizing what was happening, they’d both moved closer, pulled towards each other by some outwardly force, until there was only one breath between them. 

Julie moved up and put her lips gently to Lady Bird’s. 

Oh. That’s why she had been nervous. 

The instant relief of their lips touching, coming together first softly, then more sure, again and again, made her feel so light she wouldn’t have been surprised if they eventually just floated away, up towards the star studded sky. 

They kissed for so long that time slipped away, until the light shifted around them, and the quiet dark of summer night enveloped them. Alone in their own bubble. Together. 

And everything felt right again.


End file.
